My One Friend...

Dear Family and Friends,December 2008

When I found out I had cancer (sorry if this is the first time you have heard this), I cried a lot.  I had all the typical questions. Will I die?  How will my family be affected?  Will it ever come back?  Will chemotherapy and radiation be worth it?  What did I do wrong?  Why me? I already have diabetes....isn't that enough??  I wondered if it would change me and what lessons I would learn from this disease.  Then God opened his arms and showed me (and my family) how much he loved me.  He demonstrated his love by using our family and friends to encourage and uplift us.  God also showed his power by answering prayers and proving He still performs miracles!! His love is incredible and so are the actions of all of you in my life.  Here is something I wrote to thank you all for helping me and my family get through this journey.  We couldn't have made it without you...and my one friend.

One Friend is all you need...

One friend sends me cardsOne friend listens to me cry

One friend helps me do laundryOne friend drove me to the ER

One friend shaved his head (to match mine!)One friend bought me a hat

One friend encourages my husbandOne friend prays for me daily

One friend bought me a book on cancerOne friend made us dinner

One friend bought me a book not on cancerOne friend sent us a gift card

One friend went to the altar for meOne friend shopped for me

One friend keeps telling me he loves meOne friend calls to check on me

One friend took my kids shoppingOne friend walks my puppy

One friend sits with me at chemoOne friend organized a prayer meeting

One friend gave me my favorite ice cream (from Cincy!)One friend cleaned my house

One friend bought “day care” for my puppyOne friend shoveled our driveway

One friend organized a Walk for the Cure in my nameOne friend gave me flowers

One friend lit a candle for me (at Mass)One friend takes my kids to the movies

One friend brought me organic foodOne friend gave me MonaVie

One friend knitted me a prayer shawl One friend gave me a thoughtful gift

One friend made me a prayer quiltOne friend sends uplifting emails

One friend sent a box full of gifts from friends in TexasOne friend organized our meals

One friend brought me a huge bag full of hatsOne friend developed a blog for me

One friend takes my kids for the dayOne friend lent us movies

One friend takes my kids to the lakeOne friend gave me a book report on cancer

One friend incentivized my kids to keep their rooms cleanOne friend explains all the doctor stuff

One friend took my kids to a musicalOne friend took my kids to the pool

One friend takes care of me when I am sickOne friend gets my kids off the bus

One friend says he will never leave meOne friend took my kids during surgery

One friend honored me at a church dinner program  One friend keeps me up on cancer research

One friend had a “flower shower”  when I finished radiationOne friend drops by the see me

One friend sponsored me in “100 Voices of Hope” for breast cancer research

One friend took my family to Alaska when I finished chemotherapy

My one friend (Jesus) never left me

One friend is a Gift from God...One friend is all you need.

Carol Sluder-2008 Breast Cancer Survivor

Holey Cow How Time Flys

Dear Friends and Family: I really am sorry I just plain got lazy about updating the Blog. We entered into the Radiation Therapy phase of our journey and it is now COMPLETE! 33 treatments and Carol has been released! She is now recuperating and treating her surface burns (1st and mild 2nd degree burns on her skin). Her fatigue has been manageable for her... and as a family we've all tried to help out!

Her next phase is too wait! I know YUCK! But that is the way cancer is treated. We wait and see if it returns. In the meantime she is taking Herceptin via IV every three weeks (a preventative). She will begin Tamoxifen (hormone therapy) in two weeks from today. That is another preventative measure as her cancer cells are "sensitive" to hormones and want them to help grow. So... the idea is we'll just take those hormones away! No fertilizer...hopefully no growth!

Outside of that... school is well underway for the girls, work is good for me (and I've been truly blessed with many great co-workers) and Carol is a terrific patient.

We do have two prayer requests of significance: 1) Is our friend Al Gianotti's oral cancer is really really getting the best of him. Please pray for a miracle in that God will prevail and place His healing hand on Al, Denise, the kids and all that are involved in Al's journey. 2) Please pray that Carol's cancer is gone for good. I have grown to so appreciate Carol over these past 11 months of treatment... she has been a guiding light to God's grace in many ways to all of us, and to our friends and family. She deserves to live a long and fruitful life, and I know it sounds selfish on my part, but I do love her and can't help but be selfish...so there! We do have another prayer request and that is... please say a prayer for all of those suffering from Cancer. May there be a cure for each and everyone of them. Again, I am sorry for the long long long time between posts and will do better next time. Until then... please be well, be blessed and have a wonderful wonderful Fall! - Eric

P.S., An optimist is someone who has dealt with reality enough to know you cannot expect perfection, see perfection, or be perfect... but accepts life as it is, and make’s the most of it. - R.E. Sluder

Talk about Pumped Up!

First we visit the Colt's new stadium "Lucas Oil" on Sunday thanks to Tom and Betsy. Then today Carol was told her heart "injection fraction rate" went from a low of in the mid-fifties to 75 in her last test. Now I should elaborate a little and then you'll celebrate!

Carol's rate started out at 77 which is very very good and it means a very healthy heart. When you take certain types of chemo the drug also attacks good cells and some of those "good cells" make up heart tissue. Her rate after a couple of tests indicated she was down in the fifties which is on the low side (can't go below 50). She was pretty bummed about it... as was I.

Then comes God... she has prayed as well and me and the girls, and several hundred of you that she'll be healed from the cancer, suffer no ill affects, and many other great wishes.

Adding to this story you should know that we counciled with a few physicians about it and were told that her rate may raise a point or two, but otherwise she would have to live with it. "It's just something that doesn't recover once the damage is done to your heart" a typical answer we would receive.

Well.. The Great Healer had a different plan...It brings tingles to even write His response which was... He took her rate from the mid-fifties to 75 which is back to normal (actual a high normal..like terrific)!!!

I'll leave the rest to you... she had three tests indicating how it would drop after each test while on chemo. Now... though modern medicine says it won't, her rate is back to normal! With that, I really cannot write anymore because what else can I say as a man here on earth other than THANK GOD! Good night, and be well - Eric

Zap!

Well it's official... she got her first dose today of radiation. Her head didn't spin around and nor did she spew whirled peas either. when I came home she was and is the same ol' same ol'... the Carol I know and love.

I would love to share more excitement about the treatment, but she said she laid there and the machine moved around and next thing ya know she was done -- Boda Bing, Boda Boom!

On another note a dear friend from Texas stopped by, Laura, her mother and son Evan. They had a great visit today while I was working.

An angel showed up to take Carol to her appointment and then came back and helped Carol get the house clean for Laura's visit ~ thanks Teir, you're a sweetheart!

Outside of that, next up... dose number two! Be well, - Eric

A Radiant Personality

Yes, Carol has been told that many times... what a personality you have there girl! So radiant in nature, so out going, and glowing. Well... we never guessed that she would be Radiant after all, but of course we're speaking about Radiation Therapy.

It begins Tuesday and will continue for 35 doses over the next several weeks. I've wondered serveral times if she'll glow, but after many inquires I still get a profound and puzzled "NO"... dang! I kind of figured if she glowed a little, it'd fun since it's summer and she could compete with the Fire Flies, but oh well.

School begins tomorrow so the girls are heading to bed now. Carol has another heart test to measure her output since she is still taking Herceptin. So we've got a few prayer requests: 1) School goes great for both girls, 2) her test is very succesful and her heart output is stable, and 3) her radiation therapy goes very well and she doesn't suffer from much fatigue.

Thanks everyone for the prayers, and hey we got two comments last time ~ WHEW HEW! Most importantly a big thanks to our Father in heaven for seeing her through to this point, and blessing her with His presence through the Holy Spirit. Good night, and be well! - Eric

Somebody is Pulling Your Cord!

I believe that is what Carol felt yesterday as her stitches were being removed. Dr. Schmidt struggled to get one of the sutures un-done! He finally gave it a big jerk and as Carol put it... "he yanked on that string and my insides just about came out!"

Of course the doctor was doing the right thing... he needed to get the stitches out, and I think Carol's skin had adhered to some of them, so she left with a little pain under her arm. You would not have known it when you greeted her yesterday evening... because she was just glad to get this phase of our journey over with ~ YEAH!

We're both a little nervous about the "spec" but both Dr. Schmidt and our big brother the good doctor has assured us all normal procedures have been followed and neither would have done anything differently. That is why radation therapy is always mandated after the first two phases are complete! We're okay... we feel good about it, and are putting our complete faith in God!

Next step... Carol meets with the Radiation Oncologist Wednesday 7/23/08. We'll report back when we know what all is involved with this therapy. In the meantime, we're just doing our family thing, and helping Carol to continue to mend. She's one strong cookie, and I truly admire her stamina. As always (I know it's beating a dead horse but can't help it) we're truly glad for your help, and most importantly your prayers! Be well, - Eric

Just a spec...only one little spec!

We're doing great as Carol continues her recovery from surgery last week. Her incisions are looking really good, and she's got a fair amount of energy (all things considered).

The past weekend was tough as her insulin pump did not deliver insulin as it should have due to a failed connection to her body. Her sugar ran sky high... and we spent the entire weekend getting her straighten out.

Her pathology report came back... and all of the tissue around the original tumor sight was "clear." Two of the three lymph nodes were "clear," One lymph node had .3mm of cancer in it... "just a spec" the doctor said, "kind of like a single ink dot from a writting pen." He was well pleased with those results as he had prepared us ahead of time that cancer would probably still be present. He said that is why patients have Radiation Therapy afterwards to kill those last remaining strong holds.

So... though we had hoped we would get the "all clear" we'll take a report that is dang near just as good!

On another note, we've been surrounded by guardian angels over these past few days. Diane, Lanie, Debbie, Julie, Heidi, Cynthia, Melissa... have kept us fed... thank you ladies! Jennifer, and Diane has kept our daughters busy ~ bless you! A few hundred are praying for us ~ bless all of you! And... I think I've finally conquered laundry! Our sincere thanks to all, and many blessings to you in return. - Eric

Did I Fart, Snore, or Pee My Panties?

That was the question Carol asked after her first surgery in December of 2007. I guess drugs can mess with your mind... whether you like it or not! We reflected upon that profound statement today after she was rolled into her room here on the 6th floor at St. V.

It was officially confirmed, she did not not fart, snore, or pee her panties the first time, or anytime during her surgical procedures. She did ask if she was..."still on the boat?" assuming she was still on the cruise we just enjoyed last week in Alaska. Of course surgical personnel affirmed she was on land, and not at sea as she was rolled out of post-op.

Her surgeon told me he removed the three lymph-nodes that were affected by cancer, and removed tissue from the orginal tumor location in her breast. He said it went well... and the lab results would be available next week! That's it? I thought to myself... but I guess it is for now.

Outside of that, she just finished supper and wants to go for a walk down the hall, so I better sign-off for now! Thanks for the prayers, thoughts and concern. Be well, - Eric

T-minus 11 Hours and Counting...

Yep, we're here and we're just getting ready for Carol's surgery in the morning. All systems are GO. Oncologist says it's a go, Surgeon says it's a go... God says it's a go, so we're going!

We arrive at 0545 at the hospital for a 0700 surgery (translated from Nasa talk... 5:45 AM, and 7:00 AM respectively). We're cool, calm and collected... well at least as best as we can be.

Grandma is staying with the girls, and I'll be hanging with Carol... though she doesn't want me to sleep at the hospital with her...dunno why? Couldn't be anything like the logs I can saw while sleeping eh?

I'll post an update tomorrow afternoon/evening (promise)! Until then... hang loose, keep praying and remember... God loves you, He is control (when you let Him), and He has a plan for you! This is Houston ~ Out! Eric

Baby Steps...

Okay, say it now... we're a bunch of lazy bums! Yeah, we know... no updates in sometime. Sorry about that... just been busier than a one armed paper-hanger! I'm about to depart to a conference in Dallas, so I'm trying to do all that I can to help things be okay while I'm gone.

Carol is doing her best to build up energy, create some norm around the house and... GROW HAIR!

Chemo is done, yes just for clarification it is REALLY DONE! We're down to Herceptin once every three weeks (not chemo), but drug therapy to encourage the cells to not announce, "Hey, I'm here and I want to replicate in a big way good lookin'" (my layman and uneducated way of saying how it's suppose to work). The Herceptin is given to her via her port at the Oncologist office. She doesn't need a ride because it has no side effects and only takes about 1 1/2 hours. She'll stay on this therapy for the next 10 months.

Next step is surgery (Jaws theme playing on the background now)! She is scheduled for July 9th. Is required to stay overnight in the hospital (St. Vincent) and will come home Thursday morning July 10th. She will have a drain tube in her for a while (that yours truly has to empty), and will need to rest and recover.

What is to be removed you say? Well... they'll clean up the area where the tumor was (remove existing tissue), and then remove some lymph nodes under her right arm (hence the drain tube).

Next step... REST & ENCOURAGEMENT! Six weeks of rest is prescribed after surgery. She needs lots of ENCOURAGEMENT, and interaction with everyone. I'll be encouraging her to pace herself, but get out and enjoy life as well! A fine balance I must say...

What? Yes, another step is in order... Radiation Therapy will be our last big adventure. Six weeks of radioactive energy bombarding the tissue in and around the original site of the tumor, and where the lymph nodes were. It is a daily treatment, and we expect a cumulative affect on her energy. First three weeks she'll be doing pretty good, then she'll become pretty zapped (no pun intended) the last three weeks of the therapy. Though I've questioned it, and am told NO... I still wonder if she'll glow in the dark? Hmmm...

Yep, another step... Hormone therapy! She will be prescribed a drug to block any hormone production in her body (specifically the female types). This step lasts five years, but it's just pills every day ~ NO IV'S!!!!

Next step: God's will... in that we're praying it's His will the cancer is in full remission and never, ever returns! PLEASE PRAY BIG TIME FOR THAT ONE! We're both willing to accept what His will is, but we are selfish and will be quick to admit that. So... we just hope in His grace, she'll be here to preach to the world what Surviving is all about, and what God can do in your life!

With that, I close to go whittle down my Honey Do list, and prepare for 94 degree weather in my favorite State (sorry Hoosiers, but technically I'm a Texan). Be well, stay out of trouble, and remember God does have a plan for you, He does love you (no matter what you have done), and He is in control (but you have to let me...:-). Love, Eric &(Carol, Mary & Anna).

A Flight Risk!

Though the TSA (Transporation Security Administration), or any other government agency doesn't know this... but Carol is considerd a Flight Risk! That is what Karen her Oncology Nurse calls her.

We have been told that Dr. Harwood is going to limit her Taxol doses to just eight due to the high risk of nerve damage to her feet. Though originally planning on 12, he's okay with that because eight doses is normal for a patient with her cancer profile.

So... as you can guess Carol was ready to disconnect last Friday and get the heck out of Dodge! Funny thing is, Karen made her swear she would return (after hearing Carol mumble she was going to cancel her Friday May 23rd appointment). "I'm not un-hooking you from this IV line until you swear you'll return Carol." Of course, Carol relented and the line was removed.

Karen has been a terrific supporter for Carol through this journey and one heck of a nurse. We're very grateful for her being in our lives, and knowing how much she cares for Carol.

So... Carol is now sworn to return, or we're both invisioning Karen knocking at our front door with an IV in hand! To prevent this from happening we'll both be visiting Dr. Harwood this Friday to get the scoop on her heart scan, and other details. Though optimistic, I think we're both a little hesitant to say... chemo is over, until we walk out of there with no IV in tow!

If that is the case, I think a small celebration is in order. We will be going to a Indy 500 party that night, so that should get things going in the right direction. Maybe a little something else is in order...hmmm, we'll see!

Well, it's our hope and prayer we're cut free from the chemo and she'll only need to visit every 3 to 4 weeks for a Herceptin dose (it's not chemo but does some real magic on HER2 positive cancer cells). That'll be in her destiny until early 2009.

So until we walk out of his office on Friday, hold your breath, cross your fingers, and most importantly please say a prayer for the right decision to be made by all. Until then, stay tune... "Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel" (I'll let you figure out what show that slogan came from...:-). Thanks everyone, be well, and may God truly bless each of you! - Eric

Numbness, What Does It Mean?

Dear Friends and Family, Well, my doctor heard about my neuropathy side effects and decided to reduce the number of chemo treatments. In fact, Friday may be my last official chemo treatment! He said, "I don't want to push the neuropathy with your diabetes." He didn't feel he would be compromising anything and was concerned about the severity of my neuropathy.

Tomorrow I go for another heart scan to make sure these chemo drugs have not caused any damage to my heart function. I will continue to take one of these current drugs for another year (at the chemo center) however, the side effects are supposed to be less (except for damaging the heart...so keep praying for that).

My next step will be to have more tests and then set up my surgery date followed by radiation treatments. So, although I am not finished...I am thankful that part of my journey may be completed!

Thank you for all your prayers and support, you can't know how much they mean to me.

For those of you who don't know, my wonderful husband has been keeping a blog on my life at http://ericandcarol.blogspot.com Since I am such an amateur at the computer...this email was easier for me...and I wanted to give you all a quick update. Much love and thanks. - Carol

One Foot At A Time...

Is what we ask your prayers for... Carol's message is below - Eric

Dear Friends and Family, Yesterday I struggled quite a bit with some new side effects of this round of chemo. I am experiencing neuropathy from the Taxol and would like you to add this to your prayers. Specifically, my feet are numb, swollen, painful and feel like they have "pins and needles". Yesterday my legs were extremely weak and often felt like jello. I have some shooting pains going up and down my legs, across my hips and lower back. Today I am still experiencing these symptoms but not as dramatic as yesterday. In talking with the nurses, they said these symptoms will likely continue until chemo is over and might even continue on for up to a year after chemo.

In some people, this condition can become permanent and sometimes more likely in diabetics (which I am). I am not as concerned about pain (although I found it hard to be a functional mom yesterday) as about permanent damage. Please pray that these side effects will not be permanent or increase the risk of neuropathy in the future (a problem with diabetics). Thank you again to each and every one of you for all you have done for me and my family. We are strong because you have prayed for and loved us. With much appreciation and love, Carol

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Surprise... Surprise... Sargeant!

As Gomer would say in a time long ago when TV was still innocent. For Carol she experienced a BIG Surprise as well...

I had a desire at work to go see Carol... grabbed my packed lunch and left in time to arrive at 12:05 PM... and as you guessed to her surprise! I sat with her, chatted and had my lunch. Watched her drift off to sleep a few times... listen to her apologies because she did, and just be there for her. I thought it was fun, and the highlight of my day. Work was calling me though... so I left at 1:00 PM to head back to the "Salt Mines."

As I walked out of the building I see my brother-in-law Tom walking up with a book in his hand. I said, "wow... what a surprise... here to see Carol?" of course he was and he walked on up as I shuttled myself back to work. Carol called her ride home (Lori) and said hey, I've got a ride... my brother just showed up! Our normal dinner time chat was completely occupied with pages of her memory spilling out fond discussions she had throughout the day.

I'm sure you are asking... "so what makes it special?" Carol's normal ride had to cancel due to a sick kid. For those who know Carol... she is NOT one to ask for help! She cried and cried and finally mustered up the energy to send out an email and make some phones calls to arrange rides for today (and bless each of you for volunteering... the calls and replies were amazing!). Approved Plan: Her Mom was to dropped her off, and then go to an appointment. Lori was to pick her up... and during the treatment she was to sit by herself and relax.

Her day began... Her mother's meeting attendees all cancelled on her for various reasons unknown to her. That allowed her to stay till Noon. At work I felt this overwhelming desire to go see her which is totally against her will since she's a BOOMER who believes in you work, then you work some more, then work a bit more just in case. Lastly, her big brother shows up out of his exceptionally busy schedule to sit with her after I left!

Well I'm sure you are thinking... they obviously coordinated their times so she was with someone during her entire treatment right? I'd like to say that, but "no" is truly the answer. Mom did not expect everyone to cancel on her... I was held up later than I expected due to a customer issue, and darted out of the office so I would arrive in hopes of eating lunch together. Tom, without being told decided to come over and visit with her for a while.

So what eh? Well... you see I prayed last night that she would be okay on her own; not sad, not sick, not feeling sorry for herself. I even wrapped my arms around her and prayed for her this morning in that she would have courage, strength, protection, and a uplifted spirit even though she would be by herself.

I guess God decided to answer my prayer. She spent her day surrounded by family and only spending 12 minutes by herself! Even more amazing... not one moment of it was pre-planned!

Thanks Beth for taking Chester to Doggie Day-Care (and for the gift of providing it). Thanks Drew for supper... sure hit the spot. Thanks to each and every one of you for your willingness to change plans and re-arrange your life to help Carol while in need. Thanks Tom for being there, she so... appreciated it. Thanks goes to Mom's six friends who decided to cancel today unbenounced to you! Thanks God... for answering prayers... no matter how big, or small... you are listening and we appreciate it. Good night - Eric

Taxi Please...!

A common bugle heard throughout big cities around the world... Taxi Please!!! What would we do without them? I know we would be in a world of hurt, and I would have to take a lot of vacation time to shuttle Carol to and from her appointments.

So... thanks everyone for volunteering to help take Carol to her appointments. We're close to getting all the slots filled -- just a few more, so feel free to take one if you can fit it into your schedule.

I'll encourage Carol to email out the dates that are available and see if we can fill each slot. Ginsu knives are all gone by the way... we didn't realize we would have so many takers. We're working on some other enticers, so stay tune! :-)

Until our next post, a word a thanks goes out to all the good cooks in Central Indiana. We've been well fed of recent, and very grateful indeed. Some wonderful flowers arrived today to provide a hint of Spring in a rather dreary and chilly day outside ~ thank you you know who ;-)

Be well, God bless you... and may He shine His divine providence upon each of you wonderful kind folks! - Eric

Calling All Cars... Calling All Cars...

Well okay, it's not a police show I'm reminiscing about... but we do need volunteers! First, I need to say ~ SORRY! I know, I know... no post, and no Carol or Eric. Dang, no good excuse either except really nice weather and plenty of yard work to say the least. My Bad... as our daughters would say!

Now that is out of the way, back to our need... Carol has seven more chemo treatments each and every Friday (except the last one is a Thursday June 12Th). Unfortunately, she is out of volunteer drivers. She is not allowed to drive home because she's "DRUGGED UP" big time!

Any takers? It is somewhat of a long day, but you'll get to experience what a chemo treatment consist of, free conversations with Carol while she's under the influence of some really cool and relaxing medications (now's your time to ask some really fun questions...he he), and walk away with the sense that you, yes you... really participated in our journey of healing for Carol! Oh I almost forgot... if you are the first of 10 email'ers we will throw in a set of Ginsu knives for only $19.95, yes only $19.95... but you need to be one of the first email'ers to get a set :-)

All kidding aside, we do need your help and would appreciate any time you could spare. we appreciate each and every meal we get, every walk Chester has been taken, every time our kids are taken somewhere for us, and each and every Blog Comment (hint hint), and every wonderful card that Carol receives! We really do appreciate each and every one of you and feel very blessed to know that you are giving a part of your time, and your life for us -- THANK YOU, AND BLESS YOU!

In closing, some short notes: Yes, we made the entire walk at the Susan G. Komen Fight for Breast Cancer along with many family and friends. We persevered even when it rained, and took a really good nap when we got home (as I'm sure those who walked did as well).

Carol is doing fine (all things considered). Plenty of bone pain, and an upset stomach (more acid reflux than anything) but thanks to the modern miracles of pharmaceuticals she's handling those issues pretty good. Mary and Anna are doing okay as well. Me, well... what can I say! Pleasant, cranky, funny, and tired... many times, and some of the time, but all-in-all I'm doing just fine.

Lastly, we celebrated 15 years of marriage on April 24, 2008! Yep, can you believe it... she's put up with me... a Geek, Redneck, and goofball all rolled in one! She's a saint in my eyes, and I'm looking forward to many years of happy marriage to come.

Since I'm still sitting here in my camo outfit from this mornings turkey hunting event I'll say... GOOD NIGHT YAWL! - Eric

Walking Tall

Pretty much a normal Tuesday here in our family. Nice to see the sun come out and the sky all blue. Carol is dealing with the side-effects of her chemo treatments as best as she can. She has a nice distraction going on right now.

We're going for a walk this Saturday as a family. Our nephew Jake has coordinated a team named; "We Love Carol" and is comprised of friends and family. It's the Susan G. Komen Walk For The Cure! We are getting excited about it, and hope the weather will be nice. She took the dogs on two walks today and is now "dog tired" sorry... just had to say it. She passed out about an hour ago and I'm on my way to visit Mr. Sandman myself.

Both of our daughters are walking as well and I'm it will bring new meaning to helping their mother get well. It is my prayer that they will see all the survivors, and see all of the family members band together in a march motivated by love, hope, and the fighting spirit that makes us become one to conquer such a life changing disease. Yes, you guessed it... I'm excited too!

Until we walk, we're going to keep practicing by taking trips around the hood, and getting our bodies and spirits in shape. Wish us luck, and a prayer wouldn't hurt as well. I'm praying Carol's 4th treatment goes so well she'll be more than ready to make the walk with a big ol' Carol smile on her face! - Eric

Spring Break!

Yep, hence the reason for no posting of recent. We've been on spring break and loving every minute of it. By the grace of Carol, her mother and Tamara the girls were taken care of while I went to Texas for a much needed break from the action. I went down with two wonderful friends to meet two others (ranch owner and son). We hunted for Rio Grand Turkey's and Wild boar (ferrel hogs). I came home empty handed but with a head full of wonderful memories, and very VERY relaxed. Thanks ladies for giving me a break! Thanks Wayne and Brad for another terrific visit to the Stewart Ranch!

Since I came home Monday the girls and I have been playing, doing some honey do's and just plain goofing off. Carol went to Church for the first time in a long time, and took Mary shopping. Anna, her friend (and friend's father) and I caught a whole mess of fish. We cleaned them, and had them for supper last night with both families at the dinner table enjoying a wonderful feast.

Carol is now resting from her 3rd chemo treatment (the new chemicals where she gets 12 treatments total) she received today... still the same symptoms; mild fatigue, bone pain, dry eyes, and other smaller symptoms but she's persevering. She'll lay low this weekend and it looks like it's a good one to do that. Rain is on it's way big time and our tempurature is suppose to drop some 25 degrees!

I'm off to plant some grass seed so the rain can help it take hold... pick up the "doggy land-mines" and button down the yard for a cold blast.

Thanks Heather for supper tonight, and all the yummies... it's truely appreciated. Be well all, and PLEASE don't forget to keep praying for Carol and us. - Eric

Living Within The Shadows...

Carol's new regime of chemo was pretty uneventful for the most part. She felt a little bad last Saturday, but was up and around with family most of the day. She even went to a couples shower with me that evening (and I must say looked very radiant indeed). Sunday was similar, though she did nap more. Her biggest complaint is bone pain early one, which has now subsided.

We're striving to operate a normal (okay, what is normal) family life in our household. Carol strives to keep a scarf on her head when the doorbell rings. Mary & Anna strive to be the typical 11 and 9 year old you would expect, and I... I try to be the husband, and father I'm expected to be during times like this.

Knowing we all have certain expectations in and out of the household - I must say we are really beginning to "get" the routine on the most part. The girls still beg their mom to do things for them when they are more than capable of doing it themselves. I guess hard habits are hard to break when you've been spoiled so long like we have. Carol's learning to say "no" a lot more which is a big step in the right direction for her... since you all know she has a terrific servant heart.

Matter of fact, I think the routine is almost too boring in some sense. It's allowing her to focus on the disease more, the limitations it presents, and how she's not like everyone else right now. I sense some boredom mixed with a little sadness, or depression maybe...knowing the journey ahead.

I'm hoping and praying as the weather breaks the sun will lift her spirits, and she can do a little gardening outside. I'm sure the invites to the ladies gathering will begin to increase as the word gets out that she's allowed to emerge from solitude and be around others.

What you discover on these journey's of healing is... in the beginning you are so loved, cared for and embraced by such giving and grace... that in times "chaos of life" tempers your mind wonders if anyone still knows your sick; "do they know I want to chat, or an invite me to anywhere?" Of course we all know those random thoughts are coming from the solitude and normalcy that begins to envelope around a long-term process to heal. But one can't help but wonder... and ponder, and wonder some more until healthy distractions arrive.

Though this is my interpretation as a husband, and Chief Care Giver of one who is fully engaged in this journey hour-by-hour, day-by-day... it has prompted me to to be alert and very cautious of routine. Routine can breed normalcy and that brings a sense that all is well, and no special attention is needed. I am reminding myself daily that there is someone in my life who needs that extra "hello how are you?" hug, encouraging word and to be brought back into the chaos we call life.

I believe I have wrapped my dear wife in a package labeled, "Handle With Care" which means to be set aside and left alone instead of letting her express her wants, desires and expectations. The kids are afraid to touch, family is uncertain and friends are wondering as well. Can we, will we, is it okay? All these questions come to mind when you see a dear person in your life go through such a harsh and nearly unbearable journey towards healing.

Therefore I'm closing with this... I am removing the label, allowing the package to unwrap itself and be who she wants to be, and when she wants to be our Carol. I know she's standing right now in the kitchen with her arms open desiring a hug, a genuine conversation, and a general feeling of hey... I'm one of the gang again.

I love you Carol... you're one of my gang, the anchor to our clan... the keeper of all that is important to our family. I promise I'll do better at letting you be you - and will guard myself from loosing my sense of awareness that; extra hugs, conversations, and compassion is, and will always be... needed. Your loving husband, - Eric

An Answer

Dear Friends, The prayers worked! I had no reaction to the new chemo drugs! Praise the Lord. Even the nurses were shocked (they expected it because of all the nasty side effects I have exhibited). They told me I could expect this chemo round (12 weekly treatments) to be about an 8 on the scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst) and that I have just endured the 10 on the last set of treatments. So, this round should be a bit easier. I still was nauseous (which they said was unusual) and feeling a bit puny. But, I am thrilled to not have had the reactions they had anticipated. Continue to pray that God will be glorified in this journey, for my family and for the chemo to work perfectly with minimal side effects. Thanks you for all your prayers, love and concern. It means a lot. Love, Carol

At Her Request

My next chemo is this Friday, March 28th. They will be giving me two different drugs that I have not had yet. They said there are many people who have “reactions” to this drug therapy. Since I am having pretty bad reactions (i.e. horrible rash) to the first set of chemo drugs (which is unusual) I am a bit concerned that I might react to this therapy as well. And, since I have already endured one anaphylactic shock in my lifetime, I would rather pass on that opportunity as well!! My mother will be with me this Friday, and I am also worried about how she will handle all this. So, if you could pray that the medicines will do their job, not have reactions, and that my side effects will be minimal.

I so appreciate all the prayers, love and concern you all have had for me and my family during this time. We are so blessed to have wonderful friends who show the love of Christ.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

With love, - Carol

Eggtra Special Weekend

We had a very nice weekend with family after a week of healing from the last chemo treatment. To re-cap the week, the entire last week was hard on Carol up through Tuesday and then she re-emerged into the family life.

We had a wonderfull St. Patrick's Day dinner thanks to Barb B.!!! I just love Corned Beef and Cabbage! The Soda Bread added an extra special touch for both of us. Carol is Irish, and it's obvious if you know me... that Celtic blood is in me as well.

From Wednesday till now she's been growing stronger each day. I had a business trip Wednesday night and thanks to her Mom, who stayed with her I was able to make it ~ Thanks Mom!

Carol's sister and her family made it into town for a wonderful celebration with all her family, and most of mine. We're still stoked up on sugar from all the Easter candy and it's bed-time now :-)

Next treatment is this coming Friday with the new course of drugs on the menu. Until then, we're just focusing on her gaining strength, and helping her get back into the fold of things.

Thanks everyone for the grocery shopping, meals, cards, and nice comments. Thanks Mrs. Easter Bunny (Kim) for the wonderful baskets of treats... the girls were just in awe! Thanks Tom and Betsy for the nice Easter dresses the girls were sporting today... they were mighty proud and grateful for such wonderful outfits.

Blessings to all, be well, and good night - Eric

Fore!

What a word...fore! I use it more than most when golfing. I've been known to target the best players on the links. I don't intend too, but for some reason my golf ball heads for the best.

In Carol's case... when spelled differently as in four; it means she just finished her forth chemotherapy treatment. Do the two words have anything in common? I believe they do... one is to warn someone they are about to get hit, so in Carol's case.. trust me she's been hit! For her when we think of four, that is about how many days it takes her to really come back to life after treatment.

Whether fore, or four... both words mean a lot to her. The "Red Devil" is now gone! That is what the nurses call Adriamycin which comes in a red syrup like consistency, and is the meanest of all chemo drugs. She was required to have four doses and be done with that devil.

Her next trip on the 'Chemo Roller Coaster' will be a new serious of drugs to be administered two weeks from this past Friday. She's promised they are far less taxing on her body and we're truly praying for that affect. Until that dose comes it's time for her to rest, build strength, and put up with a family that loves her, but also boo-boo's from time-to-time as we try to embrace the affects of chemo in our daily lives.

This morning she came down and had a bowl of oatmeal... that is a very good sign. Noises bother her now, and she's very weak after a short walk... but much stronger than when we first began the "ride."

Tomorrow is her toughest day, I'll silence the phones and help her escape to her sanctum within our bedroom for the day. Until then, we'll make do with the gloomy weather outside, a lot of love inside, and experience the affects of the prayers each of you have blessed us with.

Thanks Sue for stopping over and help clean the house this week... you are an angel! Thanks to all the dog walkers for keeping "Chester da Pester" busy. Thank Dave, Susan and family for continuing to stop by for a Chester walk, and to check on us. Lastly, thanks Tamara for taking Carol to her treatment Friday. She said she had a great time, and enjoyed the chat immensely. If I missed recognizing you, it certainly wasn't intentional... I just haven't had my coffee yet :-/

I pray this morning in true thanksgiving for the many blessings, well wishes and heart felt concern that surrounds us. I pray also that God will truly bless each of you in many ways so that you personaly know He is a real God, an active God and a loving God that cares for each of you. Be well, and many blessings in return - Eric

Just Itching To Know...

Carol is really wanting to know what will solve her itch! She has little red bumps are many areas of her body. The bumps itch, and we all feel bad for her. At about 7 PM this evening, she gave in... and a call was dispatched to her on-call Oncologist. He prescribed a steroid to provide some relief.

Steroids are very effective in relieving many irritations of the skin. Unfortunately for a diabetic, it means high and unstable blood sugars.

Please pray for Carol in that her rash will go away, or at least the itch will cease. Also pray that her blood sugars will remain within an acceptable range.

Thank you in advance for your prayers. We know they are working, and that God is very much involved in her healing process. We are greatful for the hundreds who are praying without ceasing. God Bless each of you! - Eric

Papa Bear...

Just a quick update to say Carol is doing very well as she approaches her next treatment this Friday March 14, 12008. We're just trying to be as normal as normal can be for a typical mid-west family. The house has held up, our spirits have held up and our food has been wonderful. So...the porage is warm, but... I need to tell a story first.

When our first daughter was born, my father observed my protective behavior as something you would see in a "Papa Bear" he said. I guess I've always been a little protective of Carol, Mary and Anna. It's just something that's inside of me, and has been since I vowed to marry Carol.

Being a Papa Bear has its advantages, and disadvantages unfortunately. Carol knows I'm always looking out for her best interests, and so do our girls. Disadvantages can be... that others think I might not want them around, or to call, or anything of the sorts.

So... don't worry too much about this ol' bear cause Carol loves talking, and loves visits. I posted some cautions because I truly can be a very protective Papa Bear... plain and simple (see I said it... whew) but I don't bite! I've never not wanted her to be able to chat, have visitors and such, nor has she (well the first weekend she wasn't real keen on seeing anyone).

In closing now that you know my nature, it may help you understand me and my intent when I post a "caution" for Carol. Just keep on calling, writing her emails, and if she's up to it (and you're not sick... dang there I go again) stop on by! So thanks for putting up with this ol' bear, and just know that your love, help, prayers, and genuine concern are truly appreciated! Be well, and good night - Eric (da' bear)

The Bells Have Gone Silent

Happy Sunday! Today is always Carol's toughest day after a chemo treatment. She's in bed right now with the lights out resting. Noises, lights, and any sensory input really troubles her. We would like to ask all of you wonderful, concerning, and loving friends & family to keep that in mind before calling on the house phone, or ringing the doorbell. Here are some possible alternatives to contact us on her "Super Sunday's":

- If you would like to call, please call Eric's cell phone (753-6005).

- If you would like to come over, may we suggest calling Eric's cell first and he'll meet you at the door.

- If you want to check her health status, Eric will do his best to provide timely updates on her roller coaster weekends.

- Lastly, bless you, thank you, and just remember we love all of you so there is no intent to shun, or hurt anyone. Our goal, is to heal and to do that Carol needs rest.

All other days, call away, and of course read our "Germ-A-Phobic" guidelines before a visit. We hope you have a blessed celebration with our Lord this morning, and can and will enjoy the wonderfully warm day outside. Be well, - Eric

Third base and heading to home plate...

The title says it all, Carol's blood counts were excellent and she's now had her third chemo treatment and had a wonderful evening sitting on the couch with Chester and I watching a movie. She just went to bed, and I'm heading that way myself. I just wanted to let everyone know she's on third base now, and one more of the "hard hitting" treatments left before she goes back to the minor league drugs.

Thank you for the prayers today, and please keep them coming. Saturday should be a piece-o-cake for her, but Sunday is always the worse day.

Thanks Kyle for taking Carol today for her treatment, We're sorry the office was running behind and that put you in a bind. Thanks Kira for hauling Mary to church this evening. Thanks Mike (our neighbor) for bringing some wonderful home cooked food for supper... man that comfort food sure hit the spot!!!

Good night everyone, God Bless you, and may each of you have a wonderful weekend! - Eric

"C" Day...

A little bit of a tough morning for all of us. Anna had to go to school early this morning, and Carol is really itching a lot. We find small red bumps on her upper torso, and it's really bothering her. Hair loss, red bumps, general fatigue and today is her assigned day for chemo treatment number three!

We hope her blood count is high enough for this third dose of drugs. We also hope the Oncologist will have some advice on the red bumps, and itching. Please pray for for this issues for her, and for a smooth departure on the "Chemo Roller Coaster."

Be well, and I'll post more this weekend once her ride is underway. - Eric

Under Cover...

Yep, its true... Carol's under cover now. Hats, scarfs, and on occasion a wig! Bless you Tammy for your visit the other day. You don't know how much that meant to Carol when you showed up with so many, and such a variety of head coverings! As predicted her hair came out in droves a few days after her second treatment. We never did shave her head but felt lead to just let if fall out as natural as possible. It was and is still tough... those first few days, but we're all getting use to it. She's still very beautiful to me in many ways and it just goes to show you that hair isn't everything.

Otherwise our past few days have been relatively uneventful... hence the lack of posts. We had a relatively quiet weekend with our usual drive to the lake (Morse resevoir) to watch the birds walk on the ice, and the sun set. Girls are getting along pretty good, and I'm just trying to do my best, and... be on my best behavior (the toughest part).

Carol's next treatment is this Friday (if her blood count is in order). We want to thank everyone for remembering it's the flu and cold season and being extra cautious around her... it's paid off so far. So... with that I close for the evening. Please pray she'll be able to take her next dose, the nausea will be under control, and I'll be the servant she and the girls need this weekend. Bell well, and good night to all! - Eric

Thin is... In!

Here we are... Tuesday night and all is relatively well. I worked at home most of the day Monday, and took the day off today since the girls were out of school. Carol had a tough Sunday, but we're told that is normal. Monday and today were better, but she does feel fatigued and is experiencing some nausea (though she battled the nausea without the powerful anti-nausea drugs both days ~ like WOW!)

Now that her second dose of chemo is well underway... her hair is 'thinning' pretty quickly. Matter of fact, I thought I lost mine in a hurry... I think she's got me beat, but who's counting (okay, it's a guy thing... we like to compete even when it comes to hair loss). It's tough on her, and on me as well... you'd think being a man with plenty of forehead exposed that I would have a special form of sympathy that some men cannot relate too. I have to admit I've tried, but it is very hard to see your wife with a beautiful head of hair struggling to keep it in. Wig is ready, but we're not... we even prayed about it several times today as I came close to cutting it all the way down to a military style butch. We both felt led that its just not time yet... until then we'll keep a sharp eye on the fallout.

Alvin and the Chipmunks was our theme for the day. Well... at least it was our entertainment for the girls and I. I never realized how special theatre popcorn and cold drinks can be. Twenty dollars later... and we're stuffed full of high-frutose corn syrup in water, and a lot of sodium laced Orville Redenbaucher's finest popping corn. Meanwhile Carol got some much needed (and quiet) rest while we were away.

Chester got his new Dog Watch collar today, so if you stop over and find flags flying in the yard... nope it ain't true we are not prematurely celebrating St. Patricks day. The green flags are Dog Watch's trade mark color. We're hoping that Chester we'll learn his new bounds like all good men, oops... I mean dogs and will help Carol in letting him go out to "do his thing."

That's my blog entry for tonight. Thanks again to all of you for each and every thing you are doing for us. Please keep praying and don't forget to look at our prayer requests on the right. Until my next entry, be well, be safe and may God bless each of you in a way that brings you closer to Him. Goodnight - Eric

Dosing, and Dozing...

Carol's white cell count was up enough for the next dose of her chemo. Jennifer took her, and she had Heidi and Deb F. stop by as well. I heard it was quite the party, and am sorry I missed it! Her PET Scan results were favorable. She has three lymph-nodes under her right arm near the breast that look suspicous and that is it! Whew... that's a load off of our minds knowing that the cancer hasn't developed a tumor somewhere's else. The surgery she'll have after chemo will take care of those pesky lymph-nodes.

Today Carol is dozing a lot! One of her medications for nausea just plain knocks her out. We are actually glad to see her rest so she can keep, and hopefully build her energy up. The girls are doing chores, and I was catching up on some much needed rest via a nap this late morning. Once chores are complete the girls and I are going to walk the dogs and enjoy the sunshine although its 40 degrees out... it'll be nice to soak up the rays.

We believe the combination of a surgery and her first chemo treatment...and her blood sugars being high from the surgery is what caused her to be so sick last time. Praise God for anti-nausea medication because she's far better off this time around (fingers crossed, prayers being said...)

Thanks Dave, Susan and kids for the excellent supper last night... man it hit the spot! Since I slowed down my posts my memory has failed me in recalling everyone else by name who's blessed us this week with a gift, visit, call of concern, but you know who you are and THANK YOU! Please keep praying... and be well, - Eric

You'll get a kick out of this...

I've slowed down on posting since we're focusing on getting Carol up to snuff for her next ride (remember? the Chemo Roller Coaster). Our weekend was full of action... Mary got such a 'kick' out of her mom feeling better she slammed her foot into the banister and a visit to the Immediate Care was in order and a borrowed set of crutches. Anna caught a cold (a zero white cell count and a nine year old with the sniffles ~ yikes) and I asked she be strep tested since Mary was being seen for her foot. Test was negative, and Mary just did some soft tissue damage.

It's Tuesday night and I arrived home after sliding half-way to Lafayette and back with a cold. Anna tried hard, but by providing my body as a human shield between her and Carol someone had to catch it... :-(! I'm OD'ing on Zinc laced candy and trying hard to suppress any cold symptoms in preparation for my nursing duties this weekend.

I'll post again on Friday night after Carol get's her next ticket for the ride (if her white cell count is high enough). Until then, be well, keep praying and please note to see our prayer requests on the right URGENT ONE FIRST. I've added another one... an employee under my leadership who is a friend fighting lung cancer. He is in our daily prayers, and we ask you include him too. - Eric

P.S., She cooked supper for us Monday night...YEAH! She really felt good doing that, and so did WE!!!!

An Awakening

Below is an email Carol sent to some friends and family. I'm so glad she's up and moving and almost back to normal. Here it is...

I can't tell you how much your cards, inspiring emails, gifts, meals, flowers, prayers, dog walking, errand running, taking me to appts, etc are doing for my spirits. I won't lie, last week was tough (and I thought child birth was the toughest thing I would endure!). But, I am regaining my strength and appreciating all my wonderful friends, neighbors and family immensely. It pains me that I have not written you all thank you notes...but that seems to be the one task I must let go of. I have to save some energy for Eric and the girls and I hope you can forgive me for not sending you each the fabulous card you each deserve. Just know that I do appreciate each and every one of you and how you are keeping me and my family afloat. God could not have given me a better set of friends and family.

I have always struggled with asking for help, but now see how the body of Christ functions (and has gotten us through this week). I am also thankful that my wonderful husband was able to set up and maintain an incredible blog for those who want the blow-by-blow news. Thank you for all your comments on the blog as well.

Continue to pray for God to be glorified through this adventure, for my children and husband and for my healing as well. People keep asking me what else they can do, you have all done so much but here are a few ideas:

1. If you know my children well...invite them over (as long as your family is not sick) to play. Or if you are planning a childrens activity we would be happy to pay for our children to attend the event with you. Even a trip to the mall or Target would be a welcome escape for them. I feel bad that I cannot take them places.

2. If you have Fridays free, I will be having 15 more doses of chemo and would love to have someone to sit and chat with me. You can bring a book/laptop/mag also since I might sleep for a bit. They usually last 2-3 hours.

3. If you live close and want a bit of exercise...drop by anytime and take my crazy puppy for a walk around the block!

4. If you see those coupons for free groceries/gift card with a new or transferred prescription in the paper/flyer/mailer and will not need it....send it to me! CVS takes any competitor coupon and we are filling prescriptions weekly!

Once again I am sincerely thankful for all your prayers, comfort and concern and love you all very much. With my eyes fixed on Jesus, I am going to run with perseverance the race marked out for me (taken from Hebrews 12:1-2) and make it with the support and help from friends and family like you! With much love, Carol

Ground Zero

Yep, the title is correct… we’re at ground zero. Carol had her blood work done today and she has a ZERO white blood cell count. So… it’s time to stay out of the public and away from everyone and just work on healing.

I created a little reminder titled “Germ-a-phobic” as a side-bar (look to the right below prayer requests). Something to refer too before considering a visit with us... We may seem a little stubborn or over-reactive but this is our first and we are praying only journey through Chemo…. So please forgive us.

Outside of her blood work today, she’s still fatigued and has a little nausea. Otherwise she looks great, and we are all really proud of her. She’s lost 10 pounds after last weekends ride (on the Chemo Roller Coaster). So I’m emphasizing nutrition this weekend in hopes of helping her get that white cell count up.

Yes, it’s a relatively short post tonight, but hey it’s Friday and we want to kick back and relax. So… keep praying (specifically for her white blood cell count to come up, and to be protected from infection) and take a look at our other prayer requests in the side bar.

Thanks Kira for taking Carol to her appointment. Thanks Jere for a wonderful supper... mighty good indeed! Lastly, thanks Tammy for the surprise visit arms open baring gifts and all. We are SO... BLESSED!

Good night, and God Bless… - Eric

A Clean Sweep

I was awoken this morning by Mary so I could help her get ready for school. Funny thing is, she was dressed and looking down on me while I was still in bed... so I did my duty of "helping her" get to school. Grandma was up as well, and I went downstairs to insure that Mary was readying herself... you know, I sat in the lounge chair staring at WISH 8 News while she took the dogs outs, brought the paper in, got her breakfast, brushed her teeth, etc. and I gave her a goodbye – be safe kiss on her cheek. She walked out the door, and I thought to myself these early mornings are tough ya know… having to get these kids off to school.

The next thing I know I see our bedroom light on and hear the shower running ~ I’m like wow that’s cool. So I do my things to get ready and Carol begins her morning on the move. I was beginning to think things are totally back to normal and that had my spirits up for sure.

I began preparing the upstairs for a thorough cleaning as Helen was coming today, a very nice cleaning lady who has been a friend of my wife’s family for years. Preparing means a lot of different things to different folks, so I’ll leave it at that – but I will say it was the hardest I’ve worked in a long….time, so someone else could clean!

I discovered Carol downstairs trying her best to eat a banana and looking a bit “green around the gills.” I had to put on my football coach mentality and inform her she started her day missing some of her gear… and ya can’t play football that way. I brought her a Zofran and stated it would remove the greenish tinge shortly… so not quite as well off as I had first hoped, but she’s certainly improving.

I headed off to work, and Carol’s day consisted of cleaning with Helen. I decided to leave her alone and only called her 29 times from the office today… thinking it would give her a chance to rest. I made my last call at 5:05 PM stating I was on the inbound and she should expect to see me land wheels down at or around 5:45 PM.

I arrived to an extremely clean house… wonderful job Helen and Carol, and the smell of cheese which I soon found out was Mac-n-Cheese brought over by Kira along with some rolls. We sat down to a wonderful meal at the table just like the good ol’ days not long ago (actually a week ago). It was nice and brought back feelings that I think we all needed after nearly a week of experiencing the ‘Chemo Roller Coaster.’

Our evening closed with the girls heading off to bed, and I had earlier in the evening prescribed a dose of laughter for the two of us. We sat and watched “Bill Engvall – 15 Degrees Off Cool.” We cried so hard that we both hurt, but this time in laughter and not in pain. What a beautiful experience to see the smile and laughter on her face. A truly spiritual moment for me… and a healing one for her.

Thank you and bless you Denise for the many helpful hints, gifts, and genuine concern. I promise you I will buy the best Juicer I can afford to provide all the nourishing fruit/vegetable juice Carol will need. Thanks Diane B. for the flower cookies they were awesome and it's the first time I've eaten a cookie on a stick. Thanks to you (again… and hey you’re going to get us in trouble with Dave) Kira for the wonderful food. Lastly, a big thank you is extended to the business support team at work. The ladies there raised my spirits far more today than they will probably ever realize… by letting me do one of my favorite things, and that’s tell a good story.

Good night to all, and may the good Lord bless you as richly as I feel he has done for me today – Eric (smiling)

Everything Is A-Okay

Short post tonight as I'm tired and all is well. Carol saw her Oncologist today about the chest pain and they believe it's the drug they gave her to boost bone marrow growth. The sternum is one the largest bones in your body. It's possible the marrow has built up there and hasn't distributed itself yet. Just a theory as they have not really ran into this before. We're keeping a close eye on her!

Anyhow her Mom stayed with her today and is here to stay the night. Carol is still fatigued but looking very good. We'll see what tomorrow brings, but I'm in hope that she'll grow stronger and feel a bit better even yet.

Thanks Susie for the dinner tonight... that casserole was awesome, and the Jello was A-okay in my book as I'm still a kid at heart ;-) Thanks Scott for the movies, and for walking Chester. Thanks Heidi for the visit and gifts, that meant a lot to Carol as she pointed to the flower at dinner. Thanks to all you prayer warriors out there... please keep it up. I forgot to say thanks to Tim for all the advice on the insulin pump yesterday, that will be extremely helpful during her next dose Chemo. Thanks Sharon O. for asking each and everyday how Carol is doing, and for all the nice cards, notes, and gifts and your closing remarks insisting I know that you are praying very earnestly for her ~ you're an Angel. Thanks Tim B. for calling and leaving me a very nice voicemail pardner, and finally... thanks Mary for the nice comment on the Blog and for cleaning your room. Thanks Anna for cleaning yours as well, that's a big help for your mother girls.

With that I close for the evening. Peace, Eric

What a Pain!

Tuesday started off with Carol arriving downstairs at 7:30 AM to oversee Anna's preperations for school ~ I was impressed. She is obviously tired/fatigued but trying hard to participate in daily activities which her Oncologist highly suggested.

I darted off to work about 9 AM after trying to leave things in as normal of a state as I could. It was very hard to leave her... it just rubs you wrong to leave your wife laying on the couch tired and not feeling herself.

Getting back to work for me was somewhat of an acceptable distraction... but I wondered all morning how she was doing. I finally broke down and called her at or about 1 PM. She told me the chest pains she has experienced since Chemo seemed to increase some. She's had these pains before when her blood sugars are very high (and her brother who is diabetic experiences the same thing) so after asking her the typical screening questions for an MI (heart attack) I suggested she call the surgeon's office since she just had surgery and then if no luck or direction there, the Oncologists office.

My pager went off at 2:35 and it was Carol's cell phone number on my display ~ YIKES! Of course I finished my cup of afternoon coffee, chatted with staff members in the hall for 10-15 minutes and decided to call her back -- NOT! I believe I broke the "return a page call record" and found a very upset lady on the other end informing me she was told to go to the ER. My response was plain and simple... I'm on my way!

I arrived at the ER at St. Vincent - Carmel to find Kira standing next to Carol who was a very tired looking patient. I was informed that she wasn't having a heart attack (matter of fact, from what I can remember from reading a heart rythm her heart looks better than mine :-) A beautiful rythm I must say... I wish my Q-wave looked as nice as hers I thought... but I digress. Kira said she was given a dose of pain medication, and some Zofran (for nausea). She seemed peaceful, and a bit embarrassed because for all of you who know Carol she's not one to ask for help, or to put anyone out.

Next steps... a CT chest scan to look for a blood clot, or any other issue that may be causing her pain. Kira went home to tend to the family (thanks Crecelius' for letting us borrow your mother/wife). I took over watch duty and did my best to be a comfort to her (instead of her demanding coach that I can be... she actually has a different title for me, but I'll leave that out here). The Doc ordered more pain med since she complained that the pain was still there... ought oh, our big mistake.

The pain med (more of the first dose) knocked her for a loop and brought on immediate and severe nausea. I mean we were back to Friday night after chemo nausea. I felt so bad for her... man it was rough. Of course in an ER she went from high priority (possible heart attack victim) to low priority due to other patients. She didn't get another nausea drug, and off she went to get her scan done.

When she returned man she was gray in the face and really struggling. The Radiology Tech said she'd say something to the nurse, but 30 minutes went by and no medication (big mistake on my part... should've started screaming at that point but was in a bit of a daze). Doc walks in and sees she's loosing it and orders a med and I somewhat jump on his case about the care there... ouch probably stronger than I should've :-(

The Reglan helped some but she was still feeling bad. He said you need to stay the night because they found inflamation in her media stinum (area between lungs) and wasn't sure why. He consulted her Oncologist on-call and he agreed she should stay. Hmmmm.....

Hospitals are for sick people and a wonderful place for germs... germs of all types and if your immune system is suppressed you need to becareful and have a real need for treatment if you are going to be in a hospital. We discussed it and found out she would not see any physician through the night, just sleep there be woken up on a regular basis for vitals, blood sugar, etc. Basically a very poor nights sleep! Time to call Big Brother!

Tom did a wonderful job of explaining what we were most likely dealing with and that helped her and I make a decision... and that was to go home. You can sleep at home, and as long as we follow up with an Oncologist tomorrow we're fine. Since I'm dangerously armed with a little medical knowledge Carol said, my husband will take care of me so I want to go. The doc wasn't thrilled, and he looked to me to make sure I was comfortable with it... and I said yes (of course I had said a prayer during a break between conversations and felt at peace). He said he'd put the paperwork together but with a disclaimer that we're on our own, etc., etc., etc...

Carol decided to really convince him that she was fine by tossing her cookies (I mean a lot of cookies) in front of him. The look on his face was fantastic... I had to hold back to chuckles as I could just read his mind (these people are crazy). I asked if she could have something to help us get home and she told him of a drug that we got Sunday and he said no problem.

A miricle occurs... she got a dose of Adavan and she's a new person. We hang out for the waiting period (to make sure she had no ill effects from the drug). We're good... and we're released and off we go on a slow ride home (at her request so we didn't have an issue with cookies in my car...ugh).

She's sounds asleep now in her bed, and I'm resting in my night attire reflecting upon yet another challenging but rewarding day. You might ask why? Well... I discovered today that angels do exist and they are in our everyday lives.

Angels arrived to walk our puppy who goes out on a lead, two more cleaned our hardwood floors and did several loads of laundry. Even more dropped everything to rush Carol to the hospital, or rush to our house and take care of our girls (and dogs). An angel is here now sleeping upstairs in case we need to go to the ER again tonight so our children are always under guard.

Thanks Mom, Tom, Betsy, Kira, Anita, Tier, Scott, Tamara, Jennifer, my boss, my peers, and my staff and the hundreds of you who are praying for Carol's healing and well being. You all are hero's in my book. Thank you, bless you, and may God's devine providence shine down upon you.

Good night, and sleep well - Eric

The Rising...

A much better day than yesterday for sure... Carol actually appeared in person downstairs with the rest of the family this morning! Completely under her own power as well, so we were all just tickled pink! She accomplished a shower on her own, make-up and spiffed up her hair. We were all very proud of her!

Fatigue seems to be her greatest enemy now. Her voice is weak, and her walk is slow and calculated. She progressed through the day attempting a few small tasks like talking on the phone with a medical supplier. It was nice to hear her voice kick into action like the woman I've always known as she worked so hard to muster up the energy to sound "normal" over the phone. To a trained ear, you could detect the occasional laspe of spunk as a small fade in her closing remarks gave her away.

Her PET Scan was to be today as well... hence "The Rising." Unfortunately after Kira drove her to the medical office, she was informed that her blood sugar was too high for an accurate scan to be completed. It was suggested that she and Kira take a walk around the building a few times in hopes of coaxing it into an acceptable range. She came close and the Radiologist said it was a go. Thankfully the CT Tech with a long tenure told her that if it were him, "he'd come back another day because her blood sugar really isn't low enough" and the accuracy of the image could be questionable when you're hunting for cancer. Though disappointed, we were very glad to know this... to prevent us the pain of convincing an insurance company you want a second scan :-(

Our evening included some smaller chores for Carol (against my will but I had to take Anna to dance class so she snuck'm in on me). She's now laying in bed resting and we're all glad she is... in hopes of tomorrow being an even better day.

Kudos to Kira, my sincere apologies to Tamara for messing up some well laid plans, and a big thank you to Anita for supper tonight ~ man that was some good vittles! One can never ever go wrong with chocolate dipped strawberries!!!!

Be well... Eric

How To Leave A Comment

You can leave a comment to any of these posts individually by clicking on the "comments" link below the post you have read and want to comment on. That will cause a window to pop-up (probably need Pop up's enable in your Internet browser) and you can type your comment in the window and then scroll down to where you can click on "Anonymous". Just click on that and then you don't have to create a Gmail account. Then just scroll down a little bit further and you should see a "Publish Your Comment" and your comment will show up. Feel free to sign your comment with your first name that way we know who it came from.

I hope this helps you out... if not, just drop me an email at my Insight address, or you can click on my profile on the blog and it'll give you my Yahoo email address.

Many thanks, and happy Commenting! - Eric

48 Hours (and not the movie either)

It's Sunday night and we just went through 48+ hours of nearly un-ending nausea. Poor Carol has been down and out since Friday night Feb. 1, shortly after arriving home. I've really felt bad for her, as I have NEVER seen her this sick. When she stated she wanted no visitors, or to talk to anyone... that sent a strong message to me! The girls have been terrific nurses, and semi-okay house cleaners :-)

I have to mention something about friendship. It begins with many statements indicating a willingness to help. It's somewhat overwhelming... and then it kind of becomes noise in the background while you're worried about your spouse and children (oh, and toss in a job on top of that). Then comes the first treatment... you soon realize what those plea's of help really mean to you.

First comes a the driveway. I failed to mention our friend Scott had cleared the driveway on Friday when we came home from our first treatment... bless you Scott! He did the whole thing by hand, with a little help from his Son and our daughter Mary. Then comes the oh man... I don't have any Jello in the house and she needs some. I place a couple of calls and one daughter heads to one neighbors to retrieve some instant Jello. In the meantime I realize I am very uncomfortable with Carol being out of ear-shot range of me. I then call Scott who tells me he's in route to Menards. I ask if he would be willing to purchase an intercom system for me (he's techy enough to know what I need).

I get a call on my cell phone an hour later and an entire intercom system arrives at my door with some ready made Jello. I'm then told that Kari (Scott's wife) wasn't satisfied with the Jello selection at Menards and had gone to Target to retrieve some more. That results in more pre-made Jello, some nausea medicine, hard candy, and pudding to boot. Oh yeah, did I mention all the SuperBowl treats Kari brought over as well so the girls and I wouldn't go treat-less during the Bowl? Thanks Kari... you're an Angel.

Thanks Mike, thanks Jeff for calling to check on me... that meant a lot. Thanks Tamara for your kind words, tons of encouragement and for bringing your mother over bearing gifts.

Thanks to each and every one of you who is praying feverently to see Carol's healing is complete and a part of God's will. Bless each and everyone one of you!!!

We will persevere.. and are very grateful for modern medicine. Speaking of that, I talked to a nurse from the Oncologist's office today and secured another medicine to ease Carol's nausea and it seemed to work, but it also did a good job of knocking her out providing some much needed rest.

Blessings to one and all, and if her strength is good and nausea under control we hope to have a PET Scan done tomorrow to determine if the cancer has setup shop anywhere else in her body. That will help the Oncologist determine if he needs to change his plan of attack. I am looking forward to Carol doing a post all on her own once she feels like using her laptop once again. Good night yawl!

Our First Treatment

Carol and I awoke Friday Feb. 1, 2008 to snow on the ground. Carol's wonderful mother Mary had stayed the night with us so someone would be with the girls since we were required to be at the hospital by 7:30 AM. Mary awoke at about the same time and the three of us began the day by starting coffee and finding something to eat. Carol reviewed any last minute instructions with her mother, and we were off to St. Vincent. Grandma and the girls got to start the off-to-school routine later that morning.

We arrived right on time at the hospital and I dropped Carol off at the door and found a place to park our SUV. I met up with her and we walked down to Surgery Suite A. The surgery (pre-op, surgery itself and post-op) went briskly and the surgeon was a very nice lady. Likewise the Anesthesiologist was even nicer... probably once of the nicest I have met. By 10:30 AM we were walking back to the SUV hungry and Carol now sporting a "port" just below her left collar bone with an incision glued shut about 1.5 inches long.

All hail Dunken Doughnuts... they serve breakfast 24 hours a day (just in case you didn't know), and Carol was really wanting breakfast and some coffee! I tredge through the ice and snow to return with her steaming hot coffee and an egg and cheese sandwich on English Muffin (not realizing this would be her last real food for sometime). We drove off discussing how Dunken's coffee isn't quite like a Starbucks, but it's not bad either.

We arrived at the Oncologist office spot on... 11:00 AM that is. We showed up with coffee in hand and made our way back for our visit with him (quick stop for some blood work to determine all systems are go). He commented about the coffee as something we should enjoy... (reflecting back I now know what he means :-) He said we were a go... so we made our way back to "the room" where there are (believe it or not) medical grade Lazy Boy recliners. We actually spent a few minutes discussing which one would work best of us. She didn't want to be chilled by the window, and I didn't like looking down a hallway while other patients come in for their first visit (it's traumatizing to them). She got the recliner and I got a "visitors chair" which isn't know where near as comfortable, but I persevered somehow.

We had chosen a corner and Karen our Oncologist Nurse offered something to relax Carol. I think I said yes, before Carol said yes... just knowing how nervous she was by reading her face. 15 minutes later she was RE....LAX....ED. I can see how people get addicted to narcotics... that is amazing stuff. Kind of wondered if I could "take a hit" myself for a moment, then sanity set back in realizing I couldn't, and someone had to pay attention to all the instructions. Yes, I was nervous as well... wouldn't you be?

Now relaxed, the first IV bag of chemo arrived... Cytoxan (even sounds bad eh?)http://www.drugs.com/cdi/cytoxan.html. Piece of cake, Carol dozed in and out of cautiousness and I watch a Sherlock Holmes flick on my Ipod Touch (you don't think I'm addicted to it do you?).

Eleven minutes before the end of my Sherlock Holmes flick, I looked up and Heidi a good friend of ours is approaching us with a bag of goodies... Carol wakes up immediately and I start sniffing and peaking to see if there is substances in that bag of wonderous beauty and delight.

All I can say is, God Bless Heidi! She rose Carols' spirits up and they chatted like nothing was going on. I on the other hand was not only casing "the bag" but beginning to do the guy thing of going back to finishing my flick. Heidi stayed with us until the Cytoxin was done and then headed back off to work ~ THANKS Heidi (and your roasted almonds and 7 UP saved me later in this story).

Next came the really bad stuff... I mean I've see caulk flow easier then the red looking syrup called Adriamycin http://www.drugs.com/cdi/adriamycin.html. It's delivered in an IV push and Karen would push some into Carol's port and we would chat about nausea (our greatest fear at this point). Before we know it that stuff was done and our coaching over how it turns your urine, and tears pink for the next 24 hours had been completed.

Karen provided a lot of nice documentation to take home that we're still sifting through. She topped off the drug cocktail with a syringe of antisemtic (anit-nausea) and I can't remember the name of that one after she stated it cost $6700 smackers ~ yikes!

We walked out and for all you who know Carol very well... we stopped at the "Women's botique" to SHOP. Of course I was jealous immediately seeing all that hair in one room. The Manager offered to order a wig for me, but I stated "I was quite satisfied with my situation, but thank you anyway."

This is for the guys... have any of you shopped for a wig, or just lulled around a Women's botique? Oh man... I hope I earned some kitchen passes with Carol... as I know I wasn't earning any points with the manager as I walked in and out of that place so many times (to take a hit on my 7-UP and eats some Almonds... again thank you Heidi) that I was setting off the courtesy ding that occurs when a customer arrives or exits. Sorry Andrea, I didn't realize it until after the 20th ding, and the look on your face. I might be a Geek, but sometimes I don't pick up on things like that too well.

An hour and 15 minutes later I discovered that wearing brand new shoes wasn't a good idea as my arches began to hurt, and I had run out of things to advise poor Carol on when it comes to a wig. At this point I utilized a tool in my bag of tricks... I dropped the "I bet Kira would be really good at helping you decide the color...hmm?" Sorry Kira, but you are good at that and I'm not so thank you, and thank you again.

My suggestion saved me and we left with five Breast Cancer awareness wrist bands for the family to wear. We drove home and would have never guessed anything was wrong with Carol other than she (and I as well) were quite tired.

We arrived home to a grand welcome comprised of banners, welcome signs and little notes of love from Anna (she's our "feeler" daughter who loves to do things like that). Grandma (Mary) was still there and Mary (our other daughter) and Anna all greeted us with big hugs. It wasn't two minutes and the girls and Grandma went back to cleaning and doing laundry so when she left we would be "standing in high cotton" (redneck term... see Redneck Dictionary for interpretation).

Within a half hour of our arrival Carol began to feel tired and decided to go upstairs and lay down. In the meantime, our loving neighbor Tier delivered a wonderful hot meal of pork (with an awesome sauce), brocoli rice cassarole, fresh cut fruit, rolls, and some AWESOME brownies.

Grandma, Mary, Anna and I had a wonderful feast while Carol rested upstairs. Of course for those of you who know Mary, she would never leave a kitchen a mess so she insisted on cleaning it up, and making sure both grandaughters knew what they were to do and off she went home.... thanks Mom, you are such a wonderful self-less person!!!!

I'll end the post here... and will post again tomorrow with our story on the affects of Chemo on Carol and our family. In the meantime, thank you for your prayers, well wishes and the many blessing of help, food and genuine concern. Please post your comments... as it really does lift Carol's spirits.

Be well - Eric

The Beginning

We have created this blog in hopes of sharing our journey with breast cancer. On December 13th, 2007 we received the troubling news that Carol has cancer after a tumor that was 1.1 cm in size was removed on Dec 7th, 2007. Her diagonosis then was, Invasive Ductile Carcinoma stage I. After an MRI in January and a biopsy of a lymph node, her diagnosis has been changed to Stage II. We will begin a new leg of our journey tomorrow Feb. 1, 2008 as chemotherapy will begin. Our desire is to share in our journey together in battling Breast Cancer, and to request your prayers.